Graduate Residential Life

Whether you’re returning to campus after time in the workforce, or coming straight from an undergraduate program, living in a shared community can be an enjoyable experience if you go into it with an attitude of mutual respect, good communication and shared expectations. Here are some questions to ask yourself as you move into your new home:  

• What are your expectations of your roommate or suitemate? 
• How do your actions impact your roommates, and how do their actions impact you?  Where are you each willing to make compromises to respect the other person, and where are your firm boundaries? 
• Think about your previous experiences living in campus housing or an apartment with friends. What was it like? What did you learn?  What would you do differently? 
• What do you want your living space to be like? Study space, hangout space, a mixture of both. 
• How do you communicate your needs with others? 
• How do you approach conflict if one should arise?

Tips on building relationships with your suitemates: 

• Start day one off on the right foot and invite your roommates to have coffee, tea or a meal together.  
• Play a “get to know you” game 
• Ask questions about likes and dislikes.  Asking questions will help you start to figure out how you will work together to make the space yours.  
• Be specific when discussing mutual expectations for shared spaces to set a common ground since there are likely individual differences in what people consider “clean,” “quiet,” or “appropriate.” 

Remember that you do not need to be BFFs with your roommates, but you need to respect each other. Do you need help with the first meeting? Do you need help if a conflict arises? Reach out to the staff at Graduate Residential Life (emails below) for support.

If you are interested, we also have a roommate/suitemate agreement for you to use.

Disagreements are a normal part of living with others. Conflict isn’t a sign that something is wrong—it can strengthen communication, build trust, and create clearer expectations when handled respectfully.

Before the Conversation

Take a moment to ask yourself:

• What is the issue?
• How is it affecting me?
• What outcome am I hoping for?
• What solutions could work for both of us?

Communicate with Respect

• Avoid assumptions. Ask questions to understand your roommate’s perspective.
• Focus on solutions, not blame. The goal is to resolve the issue—not to “win.”
• Use “I” statements. Example: “I feel distracted when it’s noisy late at night because I need quiet to study.”
• Practice active listening. Listen to understand and acknowledge your roommate’s perspective.

Work Toward a Resolution

• Be open to compromise.
• Consider multiple solutions.
• Focus on moving forward rather than revisiting every detail.

Approaching conflict with respect, curiosity, and collaboration helps create a healthier and more positive living environment. Please use our Conflict Resolution and Guided Reflection Worksheet if you would like.

Your house’s executive boards and heads of house will plan several programs during the first weeks of moving in. We encourage you to participate in at least one or two events to meet people.  

In addition to in-house programming, Graduate Residential Life also runs several programs throughout the year as part of a Graduate Student Life series. These events range from book clubs and children’s programs to educational lectures, faculty in residence events, and events at one of the two pubs on campus, as well as craft events. We look forward to meeting you at one of our programs. 

For a list of events, please visit your house website, sign up for house-wide emails, or email the executive board for more information.